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Joke of the Day
One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around
the water cooler at the office. "Veronica, I just don't
know what to do," Gloria said to her friend at work.
"That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on
a date for Saturday night. Should I go?" "Oh, my
God!" her friend exclaimed. "He'll wine you, dine
you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment.
Then he'll rip off your dress". "What should I do?"
asked Gloria. Her friend quickly replied, "Wear an old
dress."
>>> Submitted by Samee Peterson
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Past Jokes of the Day
The newly-weds are in their honeymoon suite and the groom
decides to let the bride know where she stands right from
the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his trousers
and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
"And don't forget that" he replies, "I will
always wear the trousers in this family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with
the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies, "I can't get into your knickers!"
"And you never will if you don't change your attitude."
>>> submitted by Melissa
One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling
frisky so he rolled over and tapped his wife on the shoulder
and started rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says
"I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynaecologist appointment
tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep. A few
minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear "Do
you have a dentist appointment, too?"
>>> submitted by N.
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping
wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good
looking and athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly
runt.
"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure
me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know
the truth before I die, I will forgive you if ..."
The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely,
no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his
father."
The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath:
"Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
>>> submitted by Laura
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